The Stu Barry Show
by Super Yooper
Summary: It's the Drew Carey Show, Animal Crossing style.
1. Characters

Disclaimer: I have nothing on the Drew Carey Show or AC. I'm just doing this for fun. In case you don't know, it's the Drew Carey Show in AC style. Here are some of the main characters.

Stu Barry: The blue bull that always wants to find a resolution to everything. He worries easily and yet knows how to party. He is the main character, obviously. He is equivalent to Drew Carey.

Chuck Barry: The red bull that is Stu's brother and Lulu's lover. He is equivalent to Steve Carey, or John Lynch.

Lulu Bobeck-Barry: Lulu's a purple cow with a lot of spunk and nerve as well. Her equivalent is Mimi Bobeck-Carey, or Kathy Kinney.

Ace Harvey: Oblivious, carefree, and naive: all words to sum up Ace Harvey the bluebird. He is equivalent to Oswald Harvey, or Diedrich Bader.

Jay Kiniski: Jay is a cynical little bird...his best friend is Ace Harvey. He is not the best person to turn to for comfort: many people think of him as strange and even a little creepy. He is equivalent to Lewis Kiniski, or Ryan Stiles.

Cousteau Wick: He works in the same department store as Stu. He is a nutty little weirdo, who is also a little comical. He is equivalent to Nigel Wick, or Craig Fergusen. 


	2. Theme Song

It's a place where the animals are free  
It's a place where the little ones are happy as can be  
Where the weather's fine and the seats are cheap  
For a football game and a memory to keep

It's Crazyold, Crazyold  
The best place you can get  
It's Crazyold, Crazyold  
Where the two birds love to bet

In Crazyold it never gets cold  
The days are new, they never get old  
Every day is a fresh brand-new beginning  
It's a baseball game with an extra inning

It's Crazyold, Crazyold  
The town of the animals  
It's Crazyold, Crazyold  
The town with everyone's favorite bull!

"It's Crazyold!"


	3. Pilot Episode: Scene One

Scene One

Stu Barry, a blue bull, and Chuck Barry, a red bull, are in the rec room of Stu's house. In this room, there is a big pool table and a cooler in the corner. They are standing at the pool table, holding pool cues.

STU  
That nine ball is going to be mine.

CHUCK  
Probably, because you've sunk every ball so far and I only had one turn.

STU  
Knock on wood!

Stu chuckles to himself as he moves over to the nine ball, the only ball left on the table. He lines it up with his pool cue and aims it at a pocket. He sinks the ball.

STU  
I win! So, what's the score, Chuck?

CHUCK (mumbling)  
You eight, me none...

STU  
All right! How about we play Lulu in a game of cutthroat now?

CHUCK  
Nah...I don't feel like pool anymore. (sets down pool cue) I'm going to go watch the game with Jay and Ace.

STU  
Oh...okay. I'll come with you then.

Stu and Chuck exit the rec room, leading them to the living room. Ace, a bluebird, is sitting on the couch, and Jay, a dark blue bird with a red hairdo is on a recliner. They are hunched toward the TV, each holding a bottle of Buzz Soda in their wings. After a moment, Ace starts to yell.

ACE  
No! They were this close! This close!

Jay sinks his head and starts to groan.

JAY (in a muffled voice)  
The Warriors are losing again, Ace...drink!

They both take drinks from their soda.

STU  
Hey, what do you mean "again", Jay? The Crazyold Warriors are pretty good...

JAY (cynically)  
Yeah. When pigs fly...

STU  
Whatever...hey, you mind if we watch the game with you guys?

JAY (disgustedly)  
What! Are we on a date or something! Come on, sit down before you say anything stupider than you have already...

Stu and Chuck sit on the couch next to Ace. Stu points at the television.

STU  
Ooh, when do you think the Warriors will get that player back?

JAY  
Gahhh...!

ACE  
I dunno, Stu...one of the guys tripped in the mud and had to be brought to the hospital on a stretcher. And it's not even raining!

STU  
Wow, talk about embarrassing. I'd hate to be that guy.

CHUCK  
Will you guys be quiet? I'm trying to watch some football here.

ACE  
Ho ho...Chuck asked us to do something we aren't capable of. Drink!

Ace takes a sip of soda, but Jay just shakes his head.

STU (jokingly)  
Hey...Jay secretly thought Ace is stupid for probably the hundredth time today, guys, drink!

The two birds take a drink of soda.

ACE (delayed)  
...Hey!

STU  
You know, I want in on your little caffeine game...I'm gonna get some soda too.

He gets up to go into the kitchen, only to be blocked by a purple hippo by the name of Lulu Bobeck-Barry...Stu's sister-in-law.

LULU  
Hey, pig.

STU  
Hey Lulu? Hurry up, would you? I got to get some soda.

LULU  
Not a good idea.

STU  
What? Why! ...You better not have...

LULU  
I drank 'em all.

STU (murmuring)  
She drank them all.

LULU  
That's right, pig. If you got a problem, talk to the hand! I'm a girl, I need soda whenever I feel like it.

STU  
(smiling disbelievingly) One, I have my doubts. Two, I see you must need it a lot. (starts laughing)

LULU  
Whatever...

Stu walks over to the couch again and sits.

STU  
Well, there's no soda left, thanks to the monstrous swamp animal that is probably behind me right now.

LULU  
That's right...

CHUCK (sympathetically)  
Oh, Lulu, you aren't a monstrous swamp animal.

LULU  
Thanks sweetheart...

STU  
Oh, stop the love, it's not spring yet.

JAY  
Will you guys all shut up? Ace and I are trying to find all the faults in the Warriors so we can distract them the next time we go to a game.

STU  
Well, why would you want to do that!

ACE  
Why? Because we can!

JAY  
Yeah, why not?

STU  
I forgot you're always scheming something

JAY  
It's what we do.

They all watch the television. Suddenly they all become surprised.

STU  
Oh my God! What was that?

JAY (stumbling)  
Ap...parently...the ref has passed out...

STU  
Oh, this is just great! The Warriors ARE getting worse!

JAY  
Newsflash: They're already at their worst.

ACE  
Yeah...they can hardly score a touchdown anymore.

CHUCK  
Let's watch something else.

STU  
Well, what else is on?

CHUCK  
I dunno, but we can check...(picks up the remote and starts to flip through the channels)

JAY  
Hey, come on. I was having fun watching everyone get wounded.

Chuck gives him a look, then goes back to flipping through the channels. He stops on one.

CHUCK  
(gasps) Lulu! It's our favorite show!

LULU  
Oh yeah. Townies.

TV VOICE  
Flash...I'm carrying your baby...

CHUCK  
Hey, it's the long lost episode you never got to see.

LULU  
Oh, yay! (runs around to sit down) Watch it pig, or I sit on you.

STU  
Please! I don't want to die so young!

Stu jumps out of the way just as Lulu sits down.

STU  
Let's go, Jay, Ace. (walks over to the door)

Jay and Ace stand up, abandoning their bottles of soda. Jay walks over to Stu, and Ace follows, but then he abruptly stops, eyes transfixed on the screen.

ACE  
Oh my gosh...

JAY  
Ace, you're watching a soap opera. Get away.

ACE  
No...look.

Stu and Jay look at the television. Their eyes widen with horror while Chuck and Lulu hug each other, sobbing.

STU  
Is that legal to air?

JAY  
It is now.

ACE  
Oh, it just got worse. (runs over to join them) Where to?

STU & JAY (in unison)  
Warsaw.

ACE  
Okay.

STU  
Chuck, here's your last chance. I'm throwing you a lifeline. Come to Warsaw. Drink soda. Be happy. Get hyper.

CHUCK (voice breaking)  
Sorry, Stu. Maybe some other time.

STU  
(sighs) Okay, fine...more soda for us, then.

Ace and Jay upturn their beaks to Chuck for effect, then glare. They exit the house. The screen fades out.


End file.
